Showing posts with label Rocky. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rocky. Show all posts

No Alibis, No Excuses

As I sit waiting for the Big Day - the testing ground for my fears and hopes - I am taken back to a time long long ago.....(bear with me intrepid readers while I pontificate from my pulpit)

Many years ago I owned a black gown, a black leather briefcase, and bulky leather-bound case books neatly brooding in bookshelves behind my desk which was without computer or mouse. Business cards bearing my killer legal credentials purred in the breast pocket of my grey double-breasted suit.


In those greener years, much of my time was spent in corridors between court rooms thumbing through papers, sipping coffee from Styrofoam cups, and waiting. There was lots of waiting. Lawyers and court staff become masters at waiting. Sometimes we would wait while we were waiting. Many inoculated themselves with tobacco and caffeine to ease the waiting. The waiting came in many forms: waiting for interpreters to interpret; waiting for magistrates to ponder; waiting for prosecutors to plunder; waiting for the accused's plan to hatch; waiting for witnesses to perform; waiting for the police to make sense; and waiting for lawyers to give a damn. Some struggled with time management and the concept of waiting. I refined the art and became utterly brilliant at it.

Consider the scene set.

It was in a court room, whilst waiting for the magistrate to pass judgement, that I had a light-bulb moment. 

It was alleged that my client - a character of thin virtue with varying degrees of allegiance to morality - was the ringleader of an organised car syndicate. His defence? Someone else did it. This became known as - The MMD - The Mystery Man Defence. 

At the time, the MMD was so convincing that I genuinely believed my client's innocence. At least for a while. It was only after the magistrate, peering down from the vantage point of his mahogany perch, had shed light on the case that it became apparent that my client was not as truthful as previously believed. As the magistrate concluded his summation and sent my client away for 15 years, the scales fell from my eyelids and it became clear that I had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. 

"It wasn't me. It was somebody else."


The MMD reverberated in my head as I recalled the testimony of the petty con-artist, from the movie The Usual Suspects, and his invention of the legend of Keyser Soze. It was an excuse as old as Noah, and has since reared its gnarled head in many aspects of my life: business, relationships, raising children, from behind service counters, education, sporting endeavours, Government. You name it. It's there.

Even in my triathlon and running races, with all their stress and challenges analogous to real life, I encounter my own version of the MMD. Sometimes it's a muscular niggle, the stomach flu, a pounding headache, or some external factor (traffic, pazzis, misinformation, poor upbringing....) which acts as the precursor to the alibi.



It's the fall guy I use to get rid of the feeling of guilt that twists the stomach because I am too scared to face up to reality that, when my time comes, I will be found lacking.  

So as I contemplate the Big Day that awaits, and a Big Day awaits us all, I need to take a hard look at the mirror and remind myself that there are no alibis, there never was a Mystery Man, and that we, us noble and intrepid few, are the only thing standing in the way of ourselves.

Vamos a la playa,
~RobbyRicc

The Art of Zen

The Ricc boys often use Zen tactics, and other mental games used by ancient warriors, before battle. Here we are preparing for the war against a an order of Steers spareribs and a Steers Steak Burger. Food of Champions if you will.

Other nuggets that I use are words from all the warriors out there. Here are a few that I like, and will refer to before I take on next week's battle. Please note that they have been left untouched so that you appreciate the rawness of the speakers.

The Fight (from Brett Sutton)
i mean real men, hank , my corner man in 8 of my fights , punchy but commonsences of 278 wars , in between the ropes and a thousand out of them .
"them bums dont no nothin with stop watches and heart bullshit monitors , doc , you win ,cause you want it more than the guy standing in front of you , no stop watch tells you that , now you canary neck ,get about finden away to take this ....bum, down , cause he is murdering you , and its making me look bad , you aint gonna outbox him , you aint gonna out punch him , he punches harder , and i aint going to bullshit to yer , the way to beat him , is out will him , make him believe ,you will die for it ," mouth guard goes in, "doc , stop this shit , and make me believe,you will die for it , now piss off , and be a man ,my son."

Swimming Pool Advice (Brett Sutton)
"doc , can you give us , your best advise on how to use a scientific dictom , to help the conference delegates improve their coaching.'
Well thats a tuff one , let me see , to be honest , i would say , shut the windows and turn the chlorine up , it makes em tuffer "

Rocky Balboa (the movie)
So, what we'll be calling on is good ol’ fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much they'll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kiss the express train.

Get ready to kiss the express train,
~RobbyRicc

Nemeses

Nemesis defined as:
1. something that a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc.
2. an opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome.
3. siblings
History teaches us that great rivalries are based on worthy opponents. For example:

Rocky Balboa versus ThunderLips
Despite having just knocked out Apollo Creed, we all knew that ThunderLips would crush the little Italian man from Philly. But in the wonderful world of wrestle/boxing anything can happen, and Rocky managed to wangle his way out of a beating of a lifetime.

Which was like jumping out of the way of a freight train, only to be hit by the speed express that is Clubber Lang.



Ricky Bobby v Jean Girard
If it wasn't for the Shake and Bake magic of Ricky Bobby with his star spangled nerves of steel, the French ex-Formula 1 ("un") racer could well have broken the American's resolve. His "you're either first or you're last" mantra was one of the many strengths from Ricky Bobby's arsenal which ensured his suvival under (imaginary) fire.

Ted Kramer v Joanna Kramer
The picture on the right makes me shudder. Ted and Joanna (oh evil evil Joanna), getting stuck into each other over a glass of bitter white wine. And all the while their little Billy at home wondering whether he'd ever make french toast again with his dad. I think I cried last time I watched it. Having kids gives you a certain perspective on life and you quickly realise how susceptible to violent crime you become should someone mess with your loved ones.

Berto v Berto
The guy on the left is Alberto, my oldest brother by four years.
Do not underestimate him by his beady eyed, weak chinned disposition. He is a pitbull and does not know the meaning of the word surrender. As you may have guessed, I’m the guy on the right. In the last half decade, during which time I have completed 5 Ironman races, he has completed 5 Comrades Marathons.

There has been much deliberation as to who which race is tougher, the Comrades Marathon or the Ironman? Here are the stats:

- The Comrades marathon is an ultramarathon of approximately 90km’s (55.9 miles).
- An Ironman is a 3.8km (2.4 mile) swim, 180km (112 mile) bike, 42.2km (26.2 mile) run.
- Comrades winners do it in around 5h30mins, Ironman winners in about 8hrs to 8hrs30mins.
- Comrades cut off is 12 hours; Ironman cut off is 17 hours.
- Ironman South Africa is 5th April; Comrades Marathon is 24th May.

2009 will be the year in which we find out which is stronger: the Comrade or the Ironman.

Watch this space,
~RobbyRicc